Reconciliation and Reentry Reflections
I have tried to collect some of my thoughts and lessons learned from the Reconciliation and Reentry Ministry.
Years ago, Marcia [Owen] was staying in touch with the local media, as a good nonprofit director should. That is how I first heard about this unique post-prison ministry. It is also how I met a wonderful friend!
I was soon captivated with the idea of Reconciliation and Reentry Ministry as an opportunity to grab the near edge of a great problem, as Mel says. [Rev. Mel Williams, pastor of Watts Street Baptist Church] Put simply, the great problem is the huge number of black males who are incarcerated, and all the other problems that shoot out from it. The near edge of the problem is getting involved to help one person at a time break that cycle.
I’ve worked with three partners on faith teams from this church. The members of the team have changed each time. Each partner has been an African American male who was recently released from prison after spending years there.
Our new partner is a departure, a woman who has not served a long sentence. But after the team met with her recently, I see this as another chance to make a new friend, and for all involved to benefit.
As I first got involved in this ministry, I was not sure if I was learning anything. It did not seem like much was happening. But over the years, as one of our partners was murdered and others went on to succeed and stay out of prison, I realized that I was having little epiphanies along the way.
We know that God forgives sins, and that we also should forgive our brothers and sisters and ourselves. This ministry will test your capacity for forgiveness as opposed to judgment. On a faith team, my view is to forgive, forgive and forgive again. We may explain our differing viewpoint, but we forgive.
The partner has served his or her sentence as levied by society. Our faith team is like an ad hoc welcome home committee of forgiveness.
Faith teams are necessary, because in truth, society does not actually ever forgive a felony conviction, even after the sentence is long finished. One of the main ongoing penalties is that when our partners seek jobs, doors close.
I have also learned that faith team members need to be patient.
The partner will initially question our motives. He or she will wonder, why do all these white people care about me?
One attitude that will confirm the partner’s stereotype is if a faith team member comes to the table with a judgmental attitude. If you come expecting to instruct the partner in the right way to live, it is not going to work.
The partner must understand that we are here simply to help and support you in making good decisions, not to judge. Within that atmosphere, a level of trust will develop, as it does between friends.
This ministry is about creating intentional friendships. Faith team members decide, I am going to make friends with this person, whom I normally would never meet or interact with.
And in every friendship, there are hills and valleys. There will be times you will be annoyed with your friend, and other times you will be overjoyed to see him.
Members should also be prepared for a culture shock. You will learn about another Durham, mostly black and mostly poor, where drug abuse is common, where street gangs are common, where dropping out of school is common, where many families have several members in prison, where many families have had members shot or killed.
This Durham bears little resemblance to the Durham that most of us live in. And yet it exists, right across the street.
I often think, if this was the situation for our families, we would never tolerate it. We would be taking action today to turn things around.
There would be community meetings and task forces. Taxes might even be raised to do something about it.
But we do not feel the urgency, we do not feel the misery of our neighbors as if it were our own, because we are not close enough.
Just as in the days before civil rights, there are still divisions, racial and economic, that keep us separate.
This ministry is one way to start to mend those divisions, one person at a time.
What happens is really not very complicated. We get together, we share our problems and challenges, we try to help when we can. We have a meal, we pray. We go to a ballgame. Sometimes we help get a driver’s license or go to a court appointment for moral support. We celebrate victories and milestones and we sympathize with setbacks.
The best part was that whenever I was spending time with a partner, even if it was a frustrating time, I always felt a strong and sure sense that I was where God wanted me to be.
Thank you!
-- Ron Landfried. Delivered at November 2010 meeting of Peace and Reconciliation Mission Group, Watts Street Baptist Church, Durham, NC.
Years ago, Marcia [Owen] was staying in touch with the local media, as a good nonprofit director should. That is how I first heard about this unique post-prison ministry. It is also how I met a wonderful friend!
I was soon captivated with the idea of Reconciliation and Reentry Ministry as an opportunity to grab the near edge of a great problem, as Mel says. [Rev. Mel Williams, pastor of Watts Street Baptist Church] Put simply, the great problem is the huge number of black males who are incarcerated, and all the other problems that shoot out from it. The near edge of the problem is getting involved to help one person at a time break that cycle.
I’ve worked with three partners on faith teams from this church. The members of the team have changed each time. Each partner has been an African American male who was recently released from prison after spending years there.
Our new partner is a departure, a woman who has not served a long sentence. But after the team met with her recently, I see this as another chance to make a new friend, and for all involved to benefit.
As I first got involved in this ministry, I was not sure if I was learning anything. It did not seem like much was happening. But over the years, as one of our partners was murdered and others went on to succeed and stay out of prison, I realized that I was having little epiphanies along the way.
We know that God forgives sins, and that we also should forgive our brothers and sisters and ourselves. This ministry will test your capacity for forgiveness as opposed to judgment. On a faith team, my view is to forgive, forgive and forgive again. We may explain our differing viewpoint, but we forgive.
The partner has served his or her sentence as levied by society. Our faith team is like an ad hoc welcome home committee of forgiveness.
Faith teams are necessary, because in truth, society does not actually ever forgive a felony conviction, even after the sentence is long finished. One of the main ongoing penalties is that when our partners seek jobs, doors close.
I have also learned that faith team members need to be patient.
The partner will initially question our motives. He or she will wonder, why do all these white people care about me?
One attitude that will confirm the partner’s stereotype is if a faith team member comes to the table with a judgmental attitude. If you come expecting to instruct the partner in the right way to live, it is not going to work.
The partner must understand that we are here simply to help and support you in making good decisions, not to judge. Within that atmosphere, a level of trust will develop, as it does between friends.
This ministry is about creating intentional friendships. Faith team members decide, I am going to make friends with this person, whom I normally would never meet or interact with.
And in every friendship, there are hills and valleys. There will be times you will be annoyed with your friend, and other times you will be overjoyed to see him.
Members should also be prepared for a culture shock. You will learn about another Durham, mostly black and mostly poor, where drug abuse is common, where street gangs are common, where dropping out of school is common, where many families have several members in prison, where many families have had members shot or killed.
This Durham bears little resemblance to the Durham that most of us live in. And yet it exists, right across the street.
I often think, if this was the situation for our families, we would never tolerate it. We would be taking action today to turn things around.
There would be community meetings and task forces. Taxes might even be raised to do something about it.
But we do not feel the urgency, we do not feel the misery of our neighbors as if it were our own, because we are not close enough.
Just as in the days before civil rights, there are still divisions, racial and economic, that keep us separate.
This ministry is one way to start to mend those divisions, one person at a time.
What happens is really not very complicated. We get together, we share our problems and challenges, we try to help when we can. We have a meal, we pray. We go to a ballgame. Sometimes we help get a driver’s license or go to a court appointment for moral support. We celebrate victories and milestones and we sympathize with setbacks.
The best part was that whenever I was spending time with a partner, even if it was a frustrating time, I always felt a strong and sure sense that I was where God wanted me to be.
Thank you!
-- Ron Landfried. Delivered at November 2010 meeting of Peace and Reconciliation Mission Group, Watts Street Baptist Church, Durham, NC.